Very Quiet

Today my dad was very quiet. Why? He is like that some days. I am like that some days. Is he confused? Is he tired? Maybe he just doesn't have anything to say. My mom and husband commented about it also. Sometimes I wish that I could get into his head and see what he is thinking.

Update on Dad's Fall

It has a week since Daddy fell. He has healed up nicely. THat's because I made him go to a dr. and get his abrasions cleaned and dressed by a professional. So far it has been a very uneventful week. THanks be to God.

Old golfing buddy

Today my husband and I went to church at the beach. THe church is located close to a golf club where my mom and dad were members approximately 20 years ago. We met a gentleman there and as we were talking and introducing ourselves, he realized that he knew my father. He had played golf with my dad on a regular basis years ago. This man has physical problems due to stoke. My dad has cognitive problems due to stroke and Alzheimer's. I told Mr. King about my dad's short term memory loss, and I encouraged him to stop by the pharmacy and talk with Daddy. Daddy will probably remember golfing with him since they golfed together so long ago. Mr. King stated that many of the men they had played golf with had died. THat is true. Many died from cancer and heart problems at least ten years ago. My dad may have limitations, but he is alive. I have to hold on to that-especially on the more frustrating days.

A Friend's Advice

Today Daddy and I were at the post office. A long-time family friend was there at the same time. He is probably my father's age. He noticed my dad's bruises and cuts from his fall on Wednesday of this week and asked Daddy about them. Dad explained what happened. Mr. G. told daddy about a fall he had 2 weeks ago. Then he said," B. we have to watch where we are going these days. The pavement seems to come up and hit us real easily. We have to really pick up our feet when we are going up stairs, so that we won't fall." Good advice. No lecturing. No pity. Just stating facts. I appreciated that. He expressed his concern without making my dad feel like a child or a bumbling fool. Mr. G. is a good friend-a good man.

Daddy fell

My daddy fell yesterday at the pharmacy. He was outside walking around the pharmacy. One of his favorite activities. He spyed a piece of trash and stepped out to go pick it up. Well, he tripped over a parking barrier and fell, cutting his face, hands and knee. There was blood everywhere-but no broken bones. One of the customers saw him fall and helped him into the pharmacy. We cleaned him up and made him go to the Walk in Clinic next door. He did not want to go. I told him that he could go there or to the emergency room in a nearby town. He fussed and he cussed, but he went to the clinic. Neurological signs checked out OK. Thank you Lord.

Minor Triumph

Today my dad and I were going to the pharmacy. We were riding in my husband's vehicle. Daddy usually has great difficulty buckling the seatbelt by himself. He has difficulty finding the metal piece on the belt and he has a hard time inserting the metal piece into the buckle at the seat. Today he did it all by himself!!! YES!!!! Now tomorrow might be another story, but today he succeeded. As a daughter, I have learned to delight in the small accomplishments that my dad has on some days.

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. THis is the first time in many years that I will be able to spend time with my dad on Father's Day. He and Mom will be over here today to help celebrate my sister's birthday. I treasure this Father's Day because there my not be another one like it. I come to each holiday and think "will my dad know what is going on this time next year?". This thought makes me appreciate these times that we are all able to be together.

Upcoming visit to neurologist

Daddy has an appointment with the neurologist tomorrow. Mom, Dad, and I will go to his office in the morning. I mentioned to Daddy that he had an appointment with the neurologist tomorrow. He said, "oh, goody". I told him that at least he was not having to go to see a proctologist. He agreed with that.

Post Office Visit

Every day Daddy and I go to the Post Office together-except on Sundays. We pick up the mail for my family, the pharmacy and my sister. Today I got in line to mail a package. Dad walked on around to the post office boxes. When I came around the corner he had a pile of mail several several inches high stacked in the area where you can sort through your mail. I commented on the amount of mail and asked him if he had taken the mail from my sister's box, he replied "I haven't gotten the store's mail yet" and proceeded to open the post office box that he had emptied only minutes ago. THe post office box was empty. I reminded him that the pharmacy's mail was sitting on the counter.
When my husband and I moved back to my hometown to help my parents, one of the first people outside the family who discussed my dad's memory with me was one of the post office employees. She had worked there for years and had seen my dad come and go for years. She knew his name. She knew his business. She reported that Daddy often left something at the post office-the keys to the post office box or a piece of mail. Ginnie told me that she always paid attention to my Daddy's comings and goings. She would check behind him and if she found something that he left, she would put it away until she could call the pharmacy and report what he had left. I felt like crying that day when she told me about these difficulties and I told her that he would not be coming alone any longer. I thanked her for watching out for him. She has been one of his guardian angels this past year. Many Alzheimer's patients have human guardian angels and they don't even realize it. My dad has many of those. I am so thankful for their help.

Fishing Trip Forgotten

Today as Daddy and I were making our daily drive to the post office I asked him about his fishing trip yesterday. He said,"I don't remember going fishing". That's Alzheimer's.
Some days his memory is better than others. THat's Alzheimer's.

Going Fishing

Today Daddy, Mom and my husband went fishing at a friend's lake. They caught a few small fish and reported that they enjoyed themselves. I did not go. I stayed in bed. Today Daddy has someone else by his side so I can rest after feeling bad last night. I don't feel guilty about this today. Other days I would. As my husband pointed out, the rest of the family functioned without me being here to help for 2 years, they can get along without me for a day.

Diagnosis of Alzheimer's

Mom and Dad went to see the neurologist in March. It was around my birthday. I was sick and had to stay at home. I had planned to go with them to the neurologist. My profession involves working with people who have had strokes. My dad has had 2 strokes that left him with no "physical symptoms", but with lessening cognitive function as time progresses. Our family referred Daddy to a neurologist.
On the day that Daddy went my mom said that the neurologist asked my dad some simple questions. He wanted to know if Daddy knew the date. He did not. However, he has compensated for this by looking at the date on the newspaper every day. That's how he knows the day of the week and the month. Now he can't remember that information all day so he might ask me during the day what the date is. You see my dad still has the cognitive ability to sometimes compensate for the things that he does not remember. However, I don't know how long he will be able to do that. THat's Alzheimer's.
THe Dr. asked him to start with the number 100 and subtract 7 then give the neurologist the total. He was to keep subtracting 7 every time he came up with a total. Daddy couldn't do that. Well you know, I know many folks with Master's degrees these days who can't do this simple task before they were not taught to do math "in your head" as students from the 60's and 70's were. WHen I was in elementary and high school we were taught math facts and we had to be able to think without paper, pencil, and calculator-of course no one had a hand held calculator in those days. The day of the dinosaurs. Dad received his pharmacy degree in the 1950's. He knew how to subtract 7 from 100 to get 93, 7 from 93 to get 86, etc. But he forgot. That's Alzheimer's.
THe Dr. asked daddy to draw the face of a clock and put the hands at the correct position for 3:00. Daddy couldn't do this. He has worn a "regular" watch for all of his adult life. Being on time is very important to him-but he couldn't complete this task.
That's Alzheimer's.
Other questions were asked, but you get my drift. Skills learned at an early age; skills forgotten later. Could be Alzheimer's.
My mom called me after the appointment with the neurologist. SHe said that the doctor had diagnosed Alzheimer's in the early stages. A feared diagnosis and a sense of relief. THis is what we're dealing with. How are we going to handle it? How are we going to live with it? It has been reported that those with Alzheimer's and their families aren't usually too upset when given the diagnosis. They already know that something is terribly wrong. They are glad to have a label for it so that they can begin to deal with it. I have my own plan about how to deal with it as I work with my dad.

People often say that they admire my patience. THe employees at the pharmacy tell me that sometimes when my dad has hassled them about something (like leaving the newspaper on the pharmacy counter) or when he has told them the same thing ten times within 30 minutes. I try to be very patient with my daddy. After all, he is not asking the same question over and over to irritate me. He doesn't remember that he asked me the exact same question 5 minutes ago. I try to respond as though I am answering the question for the first time each time he asks. My mom has a harder time doing this on some days. Of course, she spends more time with him than I do and it can wear on your nerves-especially if you are bothered about something else already, or if you are tired from the emotional energy expended in being a caregiver. I certainly understand Mom's frustration and some days I feel just as frustrated, but try very hard to conceal it-at least from him.
One day an employee said "I admire your patience". I asked her "Do you know where my patience came from?". My patience came from my daddy. Daddy does not seem very patient these days, but he has been a patient person through the years. I have never seen him lash out at anyone or be rude with anyone in all my 50 plus years. He owns a business and deals with the public. He believes in treating the customer with respect at all times- even when the customer is totally wrong, crazy, and/or mean. I worked in the pharmacy as a sales clerk a few hours in the afternoon when I was a teenager. Daddy always expected me to be kind and courteous to the customer-no matter what. He does get impatient or frustrated with other folks in business who do not treat people with respect or who do not care whether the customer is satisfied. It's a good thing that his primary business work was in the 50's, 60's, 70's. He would not be very happy about the way some people have been taught (not taught) by their parents.

Routines

I went to see a brilliant man on day to talk with him about my father and my fear's of Alheimer's. I told him that if my father stays on a particular routine that he manages pretty well. He doesn't seem to get confused. Take him out of town for a day or two, put him in a new environment, he will become very confused. This confusion is more evident the following day. My dad will have particular difficulty with easy tasks on days when his schedule has been varied or the day after he has taken a trip-for example the day after he attends an out of town funeral or family get together.
This Dr. has a degree in psychology/psychiatry-I'm not sure which. He told me that the brain establishes neural pathways as we learn things. Particular routines and acts that we enjoy are particularly ingrained in to the brain. A person with Alzheimer's who loves to fish may be able to drive his car to a lake, get a boat into a lake, go out into the lake and fish safely, return to shore, drive from his/her fishing hole successfully-but then 5 minutes later they may be unable to tie their own shoe. Crazy isn't it. But it is important to keep the patient involved in routine activities where they have success and which has importance to them. If that is taken away from the Alzheimer patient they decline.
THerefore, my dad and I have a daily routine at the pharmacy business to which he has devoted his life. He does not fill prescriptions now. However, he and I do tasks at the business that are necessary. This keeps him going. And it keeps me "at my father's side".

Why Am I Doing This

Why am I home to help take care of my father? Simple-he has provided for me and loved me for many years. I love him and want him to have the best during his remaining years. I also love my mom and do not want her to get sick herself because of the stress from caregiving.
I am sharing this with others, because I want you to know that you are not alone. That we often have the same feelings: sadness, dread, surprise, frustration, impatience. It helps to know that you aren't alone.
I will share good things, sad events, and information that I am learning during our Journey. Please give your comments. We can all learn from one another.
Decrease in short term memory is one of the first things we noticed with my dad. He would forget where he placed his car keys (don't we all at some time or the other). He would forget people that he had known for years. He would forget that he had been to a local town in the near past-often remarking "I haven't been there in years" when he might have been that same route 2 weeks ago. He would forget that he had asked you a question 2 minutes ago and your response. He would forget how to sign his name. It was so heartbreaking one day when I asked him to sign an official document and he could not remember how to spell his name.
This is a part of my story.